... because you just might get it!
Today... as I lead the parade of squirming, sweaty, small people down the hall and out the door towards the buses again, I heard someone yell out to me, "Only six days left!" And there I was, struck by the fact that those six days mark the end of not only this school year but an entire phase of my career. I am leaving elementary school; I'm teaching high school next year.
I must say that a certain type of melancholy came over me as I realized that I was not likely to be greeted daily next year with cries of "I missed you Miss Groop!" with their childish, passionate embraces- their arms clinging to my thighs. It makes me a little sad to think that I won't get "I love you" notes and pictures from my kiddos. I'm not sure that ninth and tenth graders will appreciate it if I read too many picture books to them...and oh, how I love to read aloud. I think I'll hold on to that tradition, though.
Elementary School is it's own culture. People walk in lines down the hallway, following standard flow of traffic patterns. There are rules and procedures for everything from taking a bathroom break to assemblies to exiting the cafeteria. And, people know you. Teachers know you and the kids know you. Everyone seems to take ownership of everyone else. I know many kids who I've never had in class and I feel a kinship with all of my former students. Maybe this is just my school... it is the best kept little secret in the district. I'll be sad to leave my colleagues--- but I am looking forward to meeting new ones, as well.
I feel a responsibility for the students I'm sending out this spring. Have I loved them enough? Have I taught them well? Are they prepared? Did they see Jesus in me? What will they remember about kindergarten? Will they do well next year with their new teachers? ---And -- selfishly, will they be ok with out me? I won't be there... for them to say hi in the hallway, to come back and visit, to stop in and be an "expert" about something.
All this hit me today as I was walking out to the buses for the 176th time this year. There are six days left.. in this school year.... in kindergarten.... in my elementary career. I have been dreaming of teaching high school English for a long time, but there is a part of me that wonders.........
I should have listened to more of their stories. I should have let them play more. We should have read more stories out loud together. And... screw standardized testing-- I should have fought harder on their behalf. Consider the lessons learned.
Everything I need to know (about teaching) I learned in kindergarten.
Who am I?
- Becca
- follower of Christ, wife, expectant mother, friend, confidant, daughter, sister, girlfriend, aspiring writer, party-thrower
3 comments:
hey becka... congrats on going up to hs. i knowit is hard though. i remember feeling that way abt my swimming lesson students and i was w/ them a lot less! i hope all goes well for you. and don't give up the good stuff like reading stories aloud and going outside of the norm to make it come to life. that's what hs kids need... hugs! (typing 1 handed so sorry for bad punctuation)
:) Thanks! I appreciate the vote of reassurance!
PS That's pretty impressive for one-handed typing :)
Oh Beccs, that's sad. I'm so happy that you're getting the opportunity to do what you want to do, but it makes sense to me that you're feeling the way you are. Nothing is like elementary school. There definitely won't be hugs and little notes from your high school students -- but nobody will throw up on you either!
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